An important question I ask myself regularly is why do this spiritual work? Why meditate, learn the Kabbalah and use holy names? What is the aim? It’s as if the question is forced on me from within.
Surely it would be easier to live my life without practising mind bending techniques. I mean deliberately drawing vital energy into your aura can bring inner challenges. It forces me to confront parts of myself I do not want to look at. To process inner pain. To stretch myself emotional and energetically. To be honest with myself. It can feel like a rigorous workout after a deep experience. What brought me here?
So interest brought me to study the esoteric on the one hand, and on the other I started doing spiritual practices to find physical healing. I had developed a muscle disease at an early age and walking had become harder in my late teens. I thought meditation and invocations, kabbalah, would heal my body. More than 20 years later, this has not (yet) happened. But the energy I contact supports me emotionally and psychologically, and perhaps even physically, throughout the day. How much it has halted the muscle degeneration is tricky to gauge, although many people younger than me with the same condition are more disabled.
Through regular practice I have come to understand that our essence is non-physical consciousness. And in our essence we are whole and complete. In the Kabbalah this is called Shefa – abundance. With practice it is possible to direct this abundance into your personal aura and to experience it. In fact, contacting our inner abundance and expressing it in this physical world is one of the reasons I believe we are here on earth. In sci-fi terminology, to terraform this our earth with abundance. Unfortunately, ignorance of this truth has done the opposite. We are wrecking havoc and pushing life into the next great extinction.
When we contact the divine fullness it will magnetise your aura and draw abundance to you through resonance. But it does not only happen to us automatically and magically. We need to visualise what we want, create goals, plan each step on how to achieve the goal and then action them. The Kabbalah calls this physical world Assiah, the world of action. It is through our actions that we bring contacted abundance into form. Action is how we earth Shefa. Unfortunately (for if you lazy like me) prayer, meditation, invocation, immersion in the wholeness of being and visualisation is half the formula, the other half is action.
The aim then of this work? It is to live the inner radiance through our actions. This requires that we live a kind of dual awareness. That of being open to the wholeness of your being and simultaneously being embodied in this frail garment of flesh. Living the paradox of knowing you are Infinite Light AND a finite individualised bubble of consciousness. And knowing that to be beautiful- even if you are in a wheelchair. At least this is what I currently believe…